It's about 1.30am in the morning.
I've got my dissertation due in 2 weeks and I don't feel ready at all.
I am trying to remain calm, read any more things I need to read, solidify an argument, write a good number of words per day, keep thinking of ways that would make my argument more sophisticated.
I've put rather alot of pressure on this one piece of work, and I need to tell myself that it is not the end of the world if I don't get the best mark (perhaps as soon as I've submitted it, perhaps I should do this now), to expect something lower.
In the last few weeks I've been quite busy. Here's a (non-exhaustive) list:
- The National Student Radio Awards at the IndigO2 (at the O2) in London
- Edinburgh for the weekend (twice) - once we went the Secret Herb Garden and Ikea, and the other time we went to a lovely pub which I can't remember the name of for a pub lunch, and for Christmas shopping at Dobbies.
- Co-organised a training day / conference for the student TV channel at my uni (RhubarbTV) - with workshops run by people who have worked for the BBC, Channel 4, ITV, Sky and more! I think we pulled it off - plus we had biscuits!
- I got white poppies for remembrance day and distributed some of them
- Got selected for the RH100 panel at Royal Holloway
- Helped to make a video for RhubarbTV for Mental Health Awareness week - I'm at the end.
- Worked for the University Vintage Fairs and got a really nice top and jacket
- Got accepted for the ITV Insight pool programme!
- Went to Germany (Bremen and Gottingen) for "reading week"
- Got put up in a rather nice hotel when we had a power cut at my uni halls
- A little bit further back - but I went to the #NMELifeHacks event with NME which was at the Islington metal works - for media careers, and then I also went to the Channel 4 Unreported World event in collaboration with Amnesty International and NUS.
I am sure that there was more, but I can't remember it all.
(I will try to write reviews of the things that can be reviewed asap, although more likely once I finish my dissertation)
The next few weeks are, let's be honest, just filled with doing my dissertation. However, there will be the final Global Leadership Programme exhibition, and I will also be going to Aberdeen for my uncle's birthday. I have a "vlog training" with the Media Trust for the Transforming Hidden Talent Programme (formerly Queens Young Leaders), a cheese and wine evening with my gals, and a few Christmas fairs and dinners soon too.
I have been absolutely LOVING my Political Cinema course - we have looked at Palestinian film, Israeli film, Iranian film, Cuban and Argentinian film, Algerian film, documentary on Indonesia, and this week we will watch an Indian film based on Hamlet (it's called Haider).
It's a fantastic course, and I am actually really excited to get started with the essay (which sounds really nerdy and stupid, but whatever). I also have to make some films for my documentary course, which I still feel a bit confused about, but I am sure I will sort it all out before the end of term.
Some of the cool things that have happened recently include being featured on the Coffee House Sessions website -
http://www.coffeehousesessions.com/the-woods-media-highlight-royal-holloway/
and this response to my radio demo from the regional group programme director at CapitalFM -
"The first thing that strikes me is the passion you have for your show, and the music within it. You have a fantastic tone to your voice...very soothing, and you present in a very relaxed, understated tone"
Sometimes it's quite nice to write a little on this blog, and to take it easy especially since in these two weeks I will be very stressed, and certainly have been frighteningly stressed and unhappy the last week or so. So I think having a nice chill morning each morning (my favourite waking up song, coffee and maybe yoga/tai chi), keeping calm, working with a clear head, discussing my ideas with others (students and teachers), taking calm breaks, and take out the unnecessary things that I am doing. Just make sure that I am focused and write this to the best (or close enough) of my ability.
It means more to me than you might think to finish this.
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