Slowing down & plans








Today I watched two gardening TV shows.
I also sat in the sun first thing in the morning, with a coffee, on the new bench.
We heard baby birds, and I went close to where the noise was, and peeked through the hedge and saw sitting hidden inside the branches - three little chicks tweeting away, waiting for their mother to bring food.
I napped, I tidied my things, I did colouring in.

These things make me feel calm, peaceful, in touch with life somehow.

I have found it so easy recently to get swept up in bad news, get panicked and stressed, and not take care of my brain.

Often this sense of dread overwhelms me these days, there is so much change happening - both in the world, and my own life.

I think more and more that I sometimes put myself in environments which make me stressed or unhappy or angry unnecessarily. Or that I am forcing myself into a mold which is not me. I would use the phrase "trying to fit a square peg into a round hole" - except I don't think of myself as particularly square.

Sometimes I want to change these environments, tell everybody: "this could be done so much better and less stress-ily!", or "why are you all doing things this way?"- but the effort involved might just be too much for me alone.

On my mind these days are often issues of gender, diversity and politics. I often feel frustrated with how things are.

But sometimes taking a step back, thinking about the simple things first, and clearing the mind - that's a good place to start.

Watching the gardeners on TV talk about how to plant this berry or that, what soil is needed, and even a short segment about a community garden, soothed me. Life growing, and thriving. Mostly just water+sun+nutrients = life. It's amazing really. Sometimes not all three are even needed.

Tomorrow I will go for a walk outside, do a little work - but not let it take over my life. I hope to do Park Run again on Saturday.

I am looking to volunteer / work with some community activism projects, and am very keen to get more into plants, and learn how to make pottery.

The internet makes my brain spin sometimes, and I think it's time to start being in control of it, rather than it controlling you.

It's easy for us all to sit inside on our computers, and forget how amazing the world outside is.

I just watched this documentary programme on the Galapagos islands and it really was wonderful. (The worst part was that I noticed my stress creeping in again as I subconsciously put pressure on myself - that I need to make a programme as good as that, or learn more about scientific matters. There is so much I don't know or haven't done. I gave myself a shake, I was being ridiculous, and then continued to enjoy the images for what they were, make a cup of tea, do some laundry and then go to bed).

So here's to slowing down, taking life a little easier. It doesn't need to be full of stress, and positive change can and does happen.





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